Well I am currently sitting here with my books for school sprawled out around me and open. If figured today would be as good of day as any to start studying agian for the upcoming semester. Since I basically have the agenda anyways. Not that studying was a problem for me last semester...I mean before I was kicked out for missing two clinicals, I was actually passing the class. But I am bound and determined to show the faculty that they did not make a mistake by letting me come back. I really do want to get my RN degree. Not only because that is what I have always wanted to "be when I grow up" but also to me it symbolizes freedom. I mean I love my family and all but they are really driving me nuts. And I have to get my daughter out of here so I can raise her the way I want to...not the way people think I should be raising her.
Recently she has gotten quite the little attitude on her and is kind of turing into a spoiled brat because my dad and sister give into her every whim. This is really driving me bonkers!
But I digress....
I am hoping that getting started with these books gives me more motivation to do things because right now I have none. I don't know what it is but I am kind of in a funk. I am bored and lonely. The dating front isn't looking to promising either. I guess I am just to picky but I kind of have to be now. I told myself I would never settle again and that is exactly what I am going to stick to.
God tells us all to be patient but I am getting seriously aggravated...lol. Not that I am a needy person but I would like someone to at least help me with my emotional support. Friends and family are great but it different when you just have someone you can lean on and is worried about your own well being. I can't say that I have truely been head over heals in love with anyone and I would like to find out what that feels like. I think before I was just settling with my daughters father and hoping that I could change him. But learned a big lesson there...you can't change anyone. Thats another reason I guess I am picky lol.
Oh well...going to go and knock out one more chapter (maybe two depending on how ambisious I am) tonight before I fall asleep.....
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